So this is my last day in my 20's and i'm not freaking out or hopelessly depressed...it's just WEIRD. I had made a 30 before 20 list...um didn't make all those but it's okay.
so i decided to do a decade in review of my 20's.
20-kinda freaked a little...maybe leaving a decade is just hard. I was in Venezuela...thought i'd die of ebola b/c of the monkeys. had a surprise party. loved it. had alot of struggles this year decided it would be best to take a year off of school after finishing my junior year. went to mexico for spring break. that's about all i remember.
21-didn't party or drink for this birthday. took time off from school so i could get myself together. The first part of this year was probably the worst for me. i was completely shut down emotionally except for anger. it was terrible. spring came around and got better. took one class. did go to mexico again. finally cried after 4 years of not crying. felt human again.
22- got back in school with a fervor i hadn't had for school in a long time. started being a little less social in big crowd events and spent more one on one time with my close friends. felt so dependent on the Lord and cried alot. felt good to get years of bottled emotions out. feel in love with LOTRS went to the midnight showing and had the best cinematic experience ever. decided i wanted to go to seminary and began the process of searching and applying for grad school in counseling. got rejected from the school i wanted and would up applying to DTS. Graduated with my BA but didn't walk. Saw BNL in concert a couple of times.
23-dyed my hair auburn. moved to Dallas. had good time in prayer and studying the word while i worked before seminary started. Did alot better with managing food, time and money. had a clean apt most of the time. most disciplined time of my life ever. started seminary. began alot of life long friendships. began to experience the awkwardness of male/female relationships that only happens in Christian sub-culture. met a life long dream of going to Russia and teaching English to teenagers.
24-struggled alot with returning to the States from overseas and isolated myself a fair amount in the fall. took Trinitarianism and did the most challenging assignment ever...writing a definition of God and supporting it. prayed about going back to Russia. Spring turned around and began strengthening and forming more relationships with people and the girls in my small group. prayed about going back to Russia and it was affirmed. loved my team. realized how much i desire to be overseas. Fell in love with LOST. began baby-sitting for some incredible families that helped shape who i was and helped me learn so much about life, love and faith
25- came back...way harder adjusting this time around. but got a new car from my mom and step-father a yellow mustang..ok it was my mom's car but new to me!! finally had a car that really fit ME!! :) struggled with even wanting to be in seminary or being a counselor. began 24 sessions of therapy...best thing ever...took trauma...re-ignited my passion for people...and began actually counseling people. prayed about going back to Russia and it was a negative...an opportunity to travel the country on a tour bus and go to Christian music festivals promoting the Revolve Tour. Battled some tough demons...literally and figuratively. learned alot about myself and how to like myself. visited some beautiful sights...and got my nose pierced!!! :) oh and baby-sat 2 kids for 10 days and was exhausted.
26- began my last year of seminary. moved from my nice little apt in the hood to living with a friend even deeper in the hood. learned alot about different African cultures.. had kids in the house all the time. began doing play therapy. began having to say bye to dear friends. continued with play therapy and loved it...got some other friends involved. graduated with my masters. had my mom and dad around each other for the first time in years. began really struggling with church and didn't go very much. wanted to move to Oregon but found a job in Memphis, so picked up and moved there to begin working with teenage boys with sexual behaviour problems.
27-realized that seminary didn't quite prepare me for PSB kids but found my groove...worked alot...worked hard...decided i didn't want to make alot of friends b/c i didn't plan on staying in memphis for a long time. went to a few churches and left a few churches b/c it was fluffy BS. decided working thru the summers sucks and missed school. :)went thru the most painful thing i've ever experienced...my father died. after i had just seen him and he was in the best health he had ever been in
28-kept working. was angry. angry at God for taking my dad. angry at myself for not knowing. work stress increased. just remember being really angry and it not fading much. isolated myself a fair amount. but had a joy in all that anger...had a squishy baby niece born...love that kid.
29-freaked a lil b/c it's my last year in my 30's...but was okay because careerwise i was right where i wanted to be. :) went to dragon*con and had the nerdiest good time. met a Superman (Brandon Routh) a lizard alien (Morena Baccarin), the Incredible Hulk (Lou Ferrigno) and others. those were the highlights. began to see a counselor myself b/c i wasn't dealing with my dad's death well even a year later. other issues popped up such as much sister and lots of other things. some of the best money i've ever spent. work stress got worse but learned how to manage not a good working environment. realized that people are just not nice sometimes and judgmental and just plain mean. decided to join an online dating site...have had some good and fun experiences i wouldn't trade for anything and have had some that were terrible.
Those are the highlights of what i remember from the last 10 years of my life. Lots of good times...but lots of painful times. Some things i chose to keep private that were huge not everything should be shared on the internet. My 20's were great overall and maybe that's why i'm sad to see them go. I have no doubts that my 30's will be great. The Lord chooses to continue to bless me. I have learned alot. I've lost alot. I've grown and become so comfortable with who i am in ways that i'm not sure i ever would.
so i plan on having some chocolate...and some wine to commemorate my 20's. :)
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