Wise words from a wise friend...

So I just happen to know some of the most incredible people in the world...very wise, talented, funny, kind, sarcastic, straight-forward, broken, humble...well I could keep going but I think you get the point. =) One of my friends has this song, um not sure the title but she sent it to me and these lyrics have resonated with ever since I heard first heard them. Here they are:

"You are the only place where I can fall to pieces still know I am whole. You are the only place where I know I am not on my own. I am found in Your Love."

My brain is starting to fade so I'm not sure how articulate I'm going to be but here we go. First of all, well, the lyrics are just true. Our whollyness is found in the Triune God. Also safety is found with the Triune God. I think, and I apply this to myself at times, that sometimes the Lord isn't thought of as being safe. And He is and He isn't. I mean God isn't tame, and you never know what He has in store, but He is safe. Scripture often talks about how the Lord fights for us, that we can take shelter under His wings, hiding in His shadow. Also in the Psalms it says God does not despise a broken heart. I know that at times I think if I "fall to pieces" then I must be doing something wrong, or that something is lacking in me, but that is not the case. And I know that's not true b/c some of the times I've felt the most "whole" are the times I've been the most broken. This is what also resonates with me, is that this verse of a song in some ways summarizes my role as a counselor. Alot of what happens in my office (and in my practicum experiences) is having someone who is hurting deeply on the inside and is afraid to fall to pieces. Part of my job, I feel like, is to get those walls to fall down and have them "fall to pieces" so to speak. But also to put the pieces back together in a healthy, wholly way. Granted I can only do this through the grace and power of the Holy Spirit, and unless they have the Holy Spirit there's going to be something missing. And another role as a counselor is to let my clients know that they are not alone!!!! They do not have to go through life alone and try to figure all this confusing, messy stuff out on their own. So it's just humbling, so very humbling, to see how I get to be like Jesus to my clients. That I can be that safe person. That I can let them know they aren't alone. And for my clients that are believers I can educate them about and encourage them in the One who makes all things new.

I could go on and on forever about how much I love my job and love being a counselor. I still have alot to learn about being a counselor...I still get stuck at times and need help...especially in the family therapy area...but it fulfills something in me or for me. And I"m content. I can't imagine having a job I wasn't passionate about...well having a career I wasn't passionate about. I mean there are parts of my job that I don't like...like paper work...but it's worth it. I have a consultation meeting on Thursday that, honestly, I didn't think I would like, but I love it. b/c I get to talk about my residents and I get help with what to do when I'm stuck.

Okay that's all I have for now. I love typing, it's quite therapeutic for me...

Grace peace and love

A little about me...

1. What is your occupation right now? Residential counselor

2. What color are your socks right now? white, grey and purple
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> 3. What are you listening to right now? men's gymnastics!!! Love it!!
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> 4. What was the last thing that you ate? hot fudge sundae
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> 5. Can you drive a stick shift? No, but I want to.
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> 6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? either my mom or Annie
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> 7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? she's pretty awesome
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> 8. How old are you today? 26...almost 27...just doesn't seem like I should be that old
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> 9. What is your favourite sport to watch? American Football
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> 10. What is your favourite drink? iced nonfat no whip white mocha. Dr. Pepper. Chocolate milk. Water
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> 11. Have you ever dyed your hair? yep.
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> 12. Favorite food? sandwiches...apparently this is strange. and I love ice cream
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> 13. What is the last movie you watched? Bring it on...don't judge.
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> 14. Favourite day of the year? I don't think I have one.
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> 15. How do you vent anger? work out, write, drive, play the music really really loud
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> 16. What was your favourite toy as a child? He-Man/She-Ra, Micro Machines,
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> 17. What is your favourite season? I theory autumn but I've haven't lived anywhere in a long time where it actually starts to cool off at that time of year.
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> 18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries all the way. They're just so expensive...
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> 19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? who doesn't like for people to respond?
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> 20. Who is the most likely to respond? well since I didn't email this no one
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> 21. Who is least likely to respond? see answer above
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> 22. Living arrangements? an apt in Cordova
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> 23. When was the last time you cried? um one night last week.
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> 24. What is on the floor of your closet? clothes
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> 25. Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to? see answer to question 20
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> 26. What did you do last night? um watched the Olympics? Ate some waffles.
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> 27. What inspires you the most? knowing that there are hurting people out there
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> 28 What are you most afraid of? rodents
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> 29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese.
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> 30. Favorite dog breed? huskies
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> 31. Favorite day of the week? now that I'm a working woman...Saturday!!!!
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> 32. How many provinces have you lived in? um zero-but 4 States-Florida, Alabama, Texas and now Tennessee

First week in Memphis

So last week was my first week at my job...all I really did was observe and go to meetings. There's going to be a lot of paperwork...it is by far the WORST part of being a counselor. It's definitely going to be challenging, and I"m nervous and excited about really getting started. This coming week is orientation as well as the first 2 days of the next week.

It's nice being out of Dallas, well kind of. I mean Dallas very much represented stress and some other unpleasant emotions. And in some ways it's nice being out of the ghetto, but I miss the refugee kids. And it's nice to be out of the heat and the materialism and just the city. I love that there are trees everywhere and ducks that live in my apt complex and fly around and quack. But I"m lonely. It really started getting to me today. I think Aunt Flow is coming. I got kind of teary a few times today over a plethora, yes a plethora, of things. But I miss my friends. And I miss the families I sat for. And b/c I"m sad I don't really feel like going to meet people. And I"m a slow to warm up person when I'm in new situations and a place that isn't comfortable or when I'm like the only new person. If I'm in a place where I"m comfortable or where like everyone is new I'm alot more outgoing. And I still feel like I"m going to be going back to Dallas in a few months. Maybe when I get furniture I'll feel like this is more permanent.

I am ready for a real paycheck. I was supposed to get paid on Friday but that didn't happen...unless it's in the mail or someone just didn't give it to me. I'm definitely ready to have a bed.

Well, I"m getting tired. I have an early morning tomorrow and should get some sleep. Ever since moving here I've been going to sleep b/n 22:30-23:30...it's very strange.

Hopefully my next post will be a bit more upbeat

Grace peace and love!!!

Proceed with caution...

So I was inspired, after reading a friend's blog, to once again have my own blog. I decided to create one about 4 years ago when I moved to Dallas. I had no friends, a part time job and lots of time. And I secretly love to type. Yes, type, not write. Well that's not true. I like to write about myself and my thoughts, not so much the intellectual paper writing that I've spent the last 7 1/2 year engaging in.

Picking a blog title was kind of stressful. I mean you want something catchy and memorable but not long. Did I want something with my name or one of my many nicknames? Something psychology/counseling related? Something that has absolutely nothing to do with what this blog is for? Decisions, decisions. So my original idea was to use k-bomb-one of the many nicknames-but then I thought having something that dealt with bombs or violence might not be a wise idea. However, none of my other ideas were very good.

So I am in the process of moving. I finally finished seminary and have my master's degree in counseling. I never thought the day would come. But it did and was kind of anti-climatic. So then I began the search of finding a real grown-up job. That was not fun and quite frustrating. I've wanted to move to the Northwest for quite some time, however, the Lord in His infinite wisdom isn't sending me there. Instead I'm going to Memphis, Tennessee. That's right, friends, after 4 years of trying to get out of the south I'm still stuck here. I don't mean to be ungrateful or fail to see how the Lord is providing (Phil. 4:19), but I just don't get it. Okay okay, I'm just bummed that I didn't get what I want. And I know that's not how the Lord works. I guess maybe if I'd delighted in Him, He would give me the desires of my heart. So really I can't be mad at the Lord. I guess I just wish sometimes He was more like a genie in a bottle. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably. But at least I'm an honest horrible person. Anyways, so I"m moving which I am excited about and incredibly sad and still unsure of a few things-like how I"m going to pay for everything. I'm seriously considering just packing up my car and mailing the rest of it. I don't need a U-Haul b/c i don't have that much stuff. And I can't tow a trailer behind the 'stang. sigh. Being an adult is not always so fun.

Well this is long enough for my first post. Time to fold some clothes and go to bed!!

Grace peace and love